Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Nacerima National Anthem
Bada Bing Badda Boom straight from the gloom
Burst forth from the darkness like a mummy from a tomb!
Nacirema is the light and we're not going down without a fight!
Test our might and we will destroy you out of spite!
All you countries complain because you're waterlogged with rain
But if you try to steal our sunshine then we will bring the pain!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Welcome to Nacirema
The Great Nation of Nacirema (Ductus Virtus ... lead by virtue)
Welcome to Nacirema, population 50,001. We have created a system of government that we believe will solve many of the problems faced by countries today. We have 25 different townships. All the citizens of the township are required by law to vote and the majority (51%) of the votes give the township its one vote. All townships are given only one vote, and since there are 25 townships, there will never be a deadlock. The elected leader of these townships is called "El Jefe”. Our constitution is called the "Grand Charter of Nacirema", and it follows a few key principles of the U.S. Gov.
Welcome to Nacirema, population 50,001. We have created a system of government that we believe will solve many of the problems faced by countries today. We have 25 different townships. All the citizens of the township are required by law to vote and the majority (51%) of the votes give the township its one vote. All townships are given only one vote, and since there are 25 townships, there will never be a deadlock. The elected leader of these townships is called "El Jefe”. Our constitution is called the "Grand Charter of Nacirema", and it follows a few key principles of the U.S. Gov.
Marijuana is legal, and subject to taxation and governmental controls like alcohol. You must be at least 18 years of age to legally purchase and consume marijuana.
We as a country are working behind the scenes and in the communities to keep Nacirema a happy and safe environment for our citizens and all those who come and visit our paradise.
Bill of Rights
The citizens of Nacerima...
has the freedom of speech, religion, and press.
has the right to a fair and speedy trial.
has the right to deny unlawful governmental/military control of private property.
has the right to pursue freedom, liberty, and happiness.
has the right to privacy; no unreasonable/unlawful search and seizure. All search and seizures of private property must be approved through a warrant.
The Bill of Rights must be upheld equally and consistently in all townships.
The citizens of Nacerima...
has the freedom of speech, religion, and press.
has the right to a fair and speedy trial.
has the right to deny unlawful governmental/military control of private property.
has the right to pursue freedom, liberty, and happiness.
has the right to privacy; no unreasonable/unlawful search and seizure. All search and seizures of private property must be approved through a warrant.
The Bill of Rights must be upheld equally and consistently in all townships.
Abortion and euthanasia policies
We have created policies for this country on abortion and euthanasia practices. We feel that these issues impact our nation both economically and socially. The following is just a brief, please refer to our web-site for detailed information on these and other issues.
ABORTION:
The abortion must be before the first trimester of pregnancy, crime victims have a little different criteria. Psychiatric evaluations are required of all prospective patients prior to the procedure. The state will fund and sponsor adoption, education, and contraception to mitigate the number of abortions as well as to offer alternative solutions to women. If the abortion is voluntary, the patient must bear all costs and burdens; if the abortion patient is a crime victim, the state will subsidize a portion of the cost of an abortion based on need.
EUTHANASIA:
Euthanasia and physician-assisted suicide are permitted under circumstances approved by a licensed physician. The methods therein are decided by the patient and the physician jointly, followed up with psychiatric evaluation, counseling and possible waiting period. If a patient is unable to authorize the procedure by their own volition, the physician is to consult the patient's will, followed by the next of kin.
We have created policies for this country on abortion and euthanasia practices. We feel that these issues impact our nation both economically and socially. The following is just a brief, please refer to our web-site for detailed information on these and other issues.
ABORTION:
The abortion must be before the first trimester of pregnancy, crime victims have a little different criteria. Psychiatric evaluations are required of all prospective patients prior to the procedure. The state will fund and sponsor adoption, education, and contraception to mitigate the number of abortions as well as to offer alternative solutions to women. If the abortion is voluntary, the patient must bear all costs and burdens; if the abortion patient is a crime victim, the state will subsidize a portion of the cost of an abortion based on need.
EUTHANASIA:
Euthanasia and physician-assisted suicide are permitted under circumstances approved by a licensed physician. The methods therein are decided by the patient and the physician jointly, followed up with psychiatric evaluation, counseling and possible waiting period. If a patient is unable to authorize the procedure by their own volition, the physician is to consult the patient's will, followed by the next of kin.
Other Relevant Policies
Women have the freedom and right by law to legally work inside and/or outside of the home. Marriage - The minimum legal age for marriage recognized by law is 18. State issued marriage licenses will be the only instrument by which the state and federal government will recognize a legal marriage. Child Bearing - Children under 18 years of age and starting at age 11, will receive sex and birth control education from public and private schools. Proper health and education programs is available for outreach to our communities. We believe that with proper education and out reach can make a huge impact within the communities. All minors must be enrolled in public or private schools by law. Burka-like gowns are deemed unsafe at this time, and are outlawed until further notice. Natives and Immigrants can exercise their freedom of religion without exercising violence stemming from their religious beliefs with the exception of wearing the bukas. Smuggling illegal aliens into the country is illegal with zero tolerance. Punishable by jail time and fines. The government will regulate the amount of immigrants coming into the country and control its borders. Human trafficking is illegal and is punishable by possible fines, possible imprisonment and/or possible deportation. Immigrants seeking to acquire citizenship must provide - A birth certificate from their country of origin, fill out an application for citizenship. After the mandatory education needed to pass the citizenship exam, and the passing of the exam, applicant will be granted citizenship providing they have passed health and security checks. Government will regulate the amount of Arms a citizen may own. Acts of terrorism, deaths or attempted killings associated with bombings, or taking hostage for ransom are all punishable by death. Drug smuggling is illegal and punishable by hefty fines and imprisonment.
In regards to Cultural Assimilation, the values of the country will be expressed and promoted liberally through the schools, news media and public assembly, to illustrate the benefits of the country's values. Economic development will be influenced and promoted in the way of - Social Services, provide opportunities, job training with modern equipment, protect from cultural violence and the grand exposure to modern medicine.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
We have decided to embrace gay marriage in our country, it is legal. We will also recognize married gay couples, fit to adopt children. Children that are adopted, economically-- it is a better alternative to the high costs of government assisted foster care. Also it gives the children a family for the rest of their lives, not just until they are 18.Marijuana is legal, and subject to taxation and governmental controls like alcohol. You must be at least 18 years of age to legally purchase and consume marijuana. No smoking marijuana while driving vehicles, or operating dangerous equipment that involves the public. Heavy fines will be levied upon convicted DUI drivers, these fines will increase dramatically for repeat offenders.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)